Use praise to shorten the distance between people
2021-03-12
As the saying goes: "A good word will be warm in winter, and bad words hurt people in June." Everyone has vanity and is eager to be recognized and praised by others. In daily social communication, if you can compliment a few words just right, you are bound to narrow the distance with strangers.
When I first graduated, I helped out in a new jewelry store opened by my friend. One afternoon, a couple came to the store. The wife's belly has been erected, and it seems that she is about five or six months pregnant, and the husband is by her side, taking care of her carefully. She picked a few hairpins and compared them on her head, and felt that they were all inappropriate. In the end she was a little discouraged and planned to leave. The husband asked her why she didn't buy it. She said that she was too fat, her face was a little swollen, her complexion was poor, and she was not good at wearing anything. I have been by the side of these two customers, and immediately said: "In fact, a woman who wants to be a mother has the brilliance of motherhood all over her body. This is the most beautiful and charming moment in a woman's life." Husband He also immediately agreed: "If you want me to say you look beautiful, don't believe me, go and take a look." My few compliments to this wife not only narrowed the distance between us, but also made her confident. Increased, and a deal was closed.
Praise is an art, and when put properly, it can make people happy and enhance mutual feelings. But if you exaggerate it or make it wrong, it may cause unnecessary embarrassment and disgust. Therefore, when praising others, the most important thing is to pay attention to a "degree", that is, the attitude and degree of praise.
◆First of all, the attitude must be sincere and natural, and praise should come from the heart
The Chinese are introverted and generally stingy to praise others. Although he had to say something on the scene at some point, he seemed insincere. For example, praise some of the advantages and strengths that others do not have. In fact, it doesn't have to be this way, because everyone has their own strengths and strengths that can be praised. It's just that some people are exposed and some people are hidden inside. As long as you observe carefully, you will surely find something worthy of praise.
This is especially true for strangers. This is the first time you met, and you don't know each other very well. This requires you to observe the other person's appearance, characteristics, clothing taste, etc., and then give a moderate compliment, which will make the other person feel relaxed and happy. Generally speaking, women like others to praise their appearance, figure or clothes and jewelry.
"This dress is the latest model this year, right? I saw it when I was shopping yesterday. I am too fat. I have fat in my clothes. It looks really comfortable on you." Such a sentence not only exaggerates the clothes. , And also praised the other's good figure.
"This platinum necklace is endorsed by Maggie Cheung, and you immediately show your temperament when you wear it." There are many beautiful women in this world, so they hope you will praise them for their celebrity temperament.
In addition to external compliments, you can also compliment them based on different occupations and personality characteristics. Writers like others to praise his work, scholars like others to praise his knowledge, and businessmen like others to praise his achievements. No matter what kind of person you face, your praise must be sincere and natural.
If you are not sincerely complimenting each other, don't say compliments lightly. Those compliments that you utter without thinking about it can easily give people the impression of false feelings, or they may be thought to suspect you of some kind of intention. That way, not only will the other party not be moved, but on the contrary, they will have feelings of disgust.
Last Sunday, I accompanied my colleague to the mall to buy clothes. In a favorite shop, my colleague photographed a dress with lace. After trying it on, she stood in front of the mirror and examined it carefully, and decided to pay for it. At this time, a shopping guide who came from outside said to her, "Miss, your skin is white, and this light-colored dress suits you." After hearing this, the colleague took off the clothes and returned them directly. Shopping guide.
In fact, the shopping guide would not make such common-sense mistakes as long as he took a close look at my colleague. My colleague was often teased by others because her skin was too dark, and when the shopping guide came over, she didn't pay attention to her physical characteristics at all, and directly took out their training routines to deal with it. This kind of casual compliment directly touches her sore spot, which is naturally disgusting. Therefore, if you praise someone with a sincere attitude, you will get a sincere response from the other person.
◆Secondly, grasp the degree of praise
When praising others, be fair and objective, and don't exaggerate the strengths of the other person to the point where they are unbelievable. Exaggerated praise will not only embarrass the praised person, but also reduce the praiser's prestige. At the same time, it will make others think you are flattering. Although everyone is eager to be praised, the evaluation of people and things must not be divorced from the basis of objective facts, and the wording must also be measured.
For example, if you praise the other person for being beautiful, but for a girl who looks ordinary, don't praise her for her beauty and beauty. You can praise other aspects, such as inner temperament or the attitude and character of dealing with others.
The average middle-aged and elderly people want others to say that they are young, but you must pay attention to the scale when you praise the other party's youth. For example, you say to an old man in his 60s: "You seem to have 50?" The other party must be very happy to tell you that he is 60. Then you continue to say: "You don't look old at all. Ah, I thought you were the same age as my father." If you exaggerate people, it's a different scene. You said to an old man with white sideburns: "You look over 40." People who have lived for more than 60 years can definitely see that you are lying deliberately. Maybe they will mistakenly think that you are deliberately embarrassing.
Pay more attention to this degree of praise for strangers. Because you didn't know each other at all before, how could you know what advantages the other party has? Unless it is a very famous person, you can praise the other party's achievements. For ordinary people, you should praise the traits of the other person's appearance. Just like the clothing accessories, gestures, etc. I mentioned at the beginning.
When you praise each other, you also give each other confidence and affirmation. If you praise her for her kindness, she will become more kind; if you praise his erudite, he will become more erudite. And sincere and appropriate praise can make the listener feel like a spring breeze, make each other's mood more happy, and enhance the feelings between you and the other party.
